Yo dont text me then not text me
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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