I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
