I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
