You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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