who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
