You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We got so high we made milksteak
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
