I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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