I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
