I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
