You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
