i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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