where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
