it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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