who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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