Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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