i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize