she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
