his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
