He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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