If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
