Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
