I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
