4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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