you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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