The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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