We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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