we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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