I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
