You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
