I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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