So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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