I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
