Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
