We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
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