i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
