love makes seman taste better
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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