yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
