i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
