hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Randomize
