if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
