butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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