If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize