I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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