You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
