The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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