Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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