we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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