I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
