Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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