i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
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How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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