Having a random hookup so left but love u
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Randomize
