If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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