I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It's blow job season.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
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