you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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