apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize