I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Pants are for mortals
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
