she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
