I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
