You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
