Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
