You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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