I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
